When Maya (my friend’s daughter) was a little, someone asked her: do you believe in God? She replied: which God?
Formless.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Elemental
Life advice I give to others to cheer them up, and will now apply to myself:
Be kind and gentle with yourself
There is a deeper reason why you do what you do
Don’t add mental pain to a difficult situation
Take a little step to make it easy to start
Lower expectations for yourself to a minimum
Remove stress
You are doing great!
Elemental.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Yield
This week’s lesson: if I surrender (stop trying to make things work), what needs to be will happen.
Yield.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Witness
My Art is a safe space for me to be who I am, no masks, no pressure to leave my body.
I can relax into being.
Witness.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Behold
“Beauty is looking like myself”
Behold.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Flight
A how-to guide to remove the numbing shell from childhood (for Kat):
Removing the shell is a long and winding road.
Say yes to everything that scares you, love, listen and befriend all parts of your self, no matter how unacceptable they feel.
Put yourself in new environments with different people, they will show you who you are and who you no longer are.
Listen to your body: if it needs to cry for 5 years, let it. If it needs to dance like a maniac, do it. If isolation is the balm, trust it.
If you need to end relationships that seem right but feel wrong, let them go. This will be terrifying, but eventually other people will come and change will happen.
Inner growth may seem stagnant at times, but if you pay attention and honor your inner longings, you will move forward and mature. None of this can be rushed. No part can be skipped.
Lean into feeing everything you feel: feelings that are felt and acknowledged will pass.
Don’t avoid yourself, in you is your greatest teacher. She is your own unique life force moving you forward.
Breaking away from your culture, and from the person you thought you were is painful and frightening. Most of the time, your mind will tell you you are insane, but the impulse to be you and to be free is always stronger. Trust it, even if it disrupts everything in your known world.
The gift of removing the shell is that you can now feel life and you are now connected to who you are (life force itself).
At first, living exposed feels raw, as if you’ve walked out mid-heart surgery, chest open, bloody. The light is too bright. Tears flow too freely, anger (a stranger, you forgot lived inside you) rears up often and deep love (for people, plants, cats, books and walks) overwhelms you. But slowly, as your breath deepens, your eyes adjust to bright light, and you learn to inhabit your feeling body, a newborn dance begins.
Flight.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Mercy
The best advice I’ve ever received:
Be kind to yourself and to others.
Mercy.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Pride
I wonder if the hot flashes of menopause are year-loads of accumulated shame for being too human, or for not being human enough.
Pride.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Refuge
Stillness
Silence
Space
Three words that take me home.
Refuge.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Composure
What a relief to know I can be boring.
Composure.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Open
Openness. My new mantra.
Open.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Unfold
Let’s help everyone come out of their shell.
Unfold.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
New Horizon
If you can see no future for yourself and feel your life has ended, it has. The life you know has come to an end. Let it go, mourn it, and then the life you don’t know will come.
New Horizon.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Duality
There is a simple and profound meditation that I learnt from Dr. Les Fehmi to calm my mind. I invite you to try it:
Can I imagine the space in the distance between my eyes?
Can I imagine the space in the tissue inside my chest?
Can I imagine the silence between everything I’m hearing?
Can I imagine the stillness that holds everything that’s moving?
Duality.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Armadilo
Dilemma: I spent years removing a numbing shell that helped me survive as a sensitive kid, but almost killed me as an adult. Now that it’s mostly gone, I have no idea how to live in the world without it (I'm learning).
Armadilo.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Onward
“Your courage makes other people brave”
Onward.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Feisty
Here is what I have learnt in my middle age: I love the best versions of me, but I especially love the worst versions of me. They need to be loved the most.
Feisty.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
New Paintings
I have been painting for the past 6 months. I was longing for color and calm, and the series I will be sharing from now on has given me that.
This first painting is titled Poem. It is inspired by one of my favorites:
“Admit something.
Everyone you see, you say to them, “Love me.”
Of course you do not do this out loud; Otherwise,
Someone would call the cops.
Still though, think about this, This great pull in us
To connect.
Why not become the one
Who lives with a full moon in each eye That is always saying,
With that sweet moon Language,
What every other eye in this world Is dying to
Hear.”
Poem.
Acrylic on paper.
7.99” by 10.43” (20.3 cm by 26.5 cm).
Birds
“I woke up this morning,
Smiled at the rising sun,
Three little birds,
Sat on my doorstep,
Singing sweet songs”
Bird Paintings.
Acrylic on paper.
7.87” by 10.47” (20 by 26.6 cm).
Symbols
“Every phenomenon on earth is symbolic, and each symbol is an open gate through which the soul, if it is ready, can enter into the inner part of the world, where you and I and day and night are all one.”
Symbol Paintings.
Acrylic on paper.
7.87” by 10.47” (20 by 26.6 cm).